First + Foremost (a road trip according to norma & kelly)
Posted By Kelly Orange on May 30, 2007
1. People love us
2. I love old people
3. It’s not ok to have 3 plates of food for each meal
4. I have to pee a lot
5. The Isley Brothers sound a lot like Macy Gray
6. If you hear Goodbye Blue Monday on the radio in New Mexico, check to see if it is really your Ipod before you call your roomate to tell him & then proceed to wait for the dj to say the name of the radio station.
7. You CAN fit a full sized spear into a jetta.
8. According to Suzanne, I look like the love child of Brad Pitt and Brooke Shields (can’t get offended at something like that)
9. Canadians consider Norma brown.
10. Frys is a food market in Arizona & there is no cigarette shop next door
11. Padookie is a dog in Norma’s dream
12. I have sleep tourettes, which I believe is Bullshit
13. Nuns make great host (there is significance to the fact there is no ‘s’ at the end)
14. The church lady is alive and well in TExas
15. Nobody fucks with the Gooch
16. The Ruth, The Ruth, The Ruth is on FIRE
17. There is a thing as too much bacon
18. Who says white boys can’t dance?
19. If your eggs are wet, don’t eat them
20. Don’t mace the Archbishop
21. It IS ok to wear the same dress for 3 days in a row on a road trip
22. Roadtrips must be planned around the LOST schedule (make sure to check times in different states first)
23. Never doubt my internal compass
24. Stear clear of abusive Japanese foreign exchange students
25. Margaritas are abundant in Santa FE
26. Who says you can’t drink alcohol in a monestary?
27. Always remember a dude is a dude
28. Chips are good
29. Backrow Mafia brings the fun
30. Don’t interrupt the teacher or risk waxing an eye
31. William Siegel wears snazzy suits, red framed glasses & owns a gallery but still bums cigarettes
32. Lawyers can be artists too
33. When the high tension wire people come to life they will take over the world
34. Art is like riding a bicycle
35. State lines do affect the weather and scenery
36. The weather rock is always right
37. WE can down two bottles of good wine in less than 2 hours
38. I would be too normal without orange hair.
39. Epiphany: Tourettes is caused by dreaming about cutting off oversized nipples
40. Don’t watch Bug with KElly or risk being hit by flailing arms
41. Curating a U-Haul art show is really funny to older drunk artists
42. Sirius Rules!
43. Norma snores
44. I die of heat stroke often in the middle of the night
45. We attract dust devils
46. WALT!!!!!!!!
47. There are more galleries than you’d be able to visit in a year’s time in Santa FE
48. I’d make a fortune if I bottled my laugh and sold it…..which I am contemplating since I am now in debt to a few people after this trip…oh well, it was worth it……yeah!
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